Where will this all lead me?

For those familiar with my work, you know that I’ve been developing a clothing line for the last couple of years.

As I reach the end of the preparation for beginning this new venture - I’m beginning to feel pinches of doubt creep into the edges of my mind.

No matter how much self reflection I do, how enlightened I aim to become, how much I speak out on how I release the shackles of expectation - I can’t deny that I care.

This clothing line means a lot to me.

On the outside, I know it’s just another wannabe clothing brand made by no one special (by the industry’s standard, not in MY opinion 💅).

But behind the scenes, the driving force behind this clothing line is a tidal wave of absolutely everything I’ve learned over the past 15 years.

Alt fashion, apparel, marketing, business, sales, copywriting, advertising, promotion, customer service, fulfillment, logistics - this combines everything I feel like I’ve learned and I know.

So the pressure I’m feeling to be able to pull this off and make it into a profitable side hustle is pretty big. Not because of anyone else, not thanks to my higher self. But the human, primal part of me is genuinely hoping that this leap of faith will pay off.

And the human, primal part of me is pained to feel the sting of disappointment if this risk doesn’t pay off. It’s one of my last ditch efforts to monetize my skills, but in a way that is truly rewarding for me, mentally and physically manageable, and is an an art practice all in one. At least that’s the plan. Maybe I launch this and end up HATING it.

But there’s only one way to find out.

I have been working to keep my expectations low, that way any action that happens is purely some sugar on top. As I’ve told everyone around me, if this side hustle goes nowhere - so be it. My goal was to bring into fruition the dog mom clothing line of my dreams, catered to my lifestyle and the way I like to dress. Getting to bring that vision to life, when I zoom out, is honestly super rewarding in itself.

But right now, as it feels like I’m about to step off a cliff (yet again) to see whether the parachute I packed will help me soar - I’m trapped in the in-between.

The Schrödinger effect of quantum physics being put to the test with my manifestation practices & trust in the universe. Until this clothing line is actually released for purchase to the public, it’s a figment of success or failure in my mind. I can endlessly think out scenarios for whichever path this ends up taking me on.

But there’s only one way to find out what will happen on this timeline.

And that’s to jump.